Friday, August 22, 2008

Olympic Update #8


EXCLUSIVE OLYMPIC UPDATE

"My World" Report Prompts IOC Investigation

Officials from the IOC have begun an investigation into China's use of underage gymnasts after a recent "My World" investigative report came to light. In the report, our investigative reporter followed one of the Chinese gymnasts with her nanny to a child care facility. The Chinese claim that all their gymnasts are of age. The IOC has decided to conduct a thorough investigation to put the matter to rest once and for all.

In initiating the investigation, the IOC requested government documents including birth certificates and passports to verify the birthdates and ages of each of the gymnasts in question. The Chinese government is expected to provide whatever government documents that are requested in a good faith effort to prove to the international world that there is no government coverup or conspiracy to use underage athletes.

Butterfingers on the Relay

In an unusual show of unity, the women's relay team was disqualified in the 400 meter relay when they dropped their baton on the final exchange of their qualifying heat. This came just minutes after the men bobbled and dropped their baton on the final leg of their qualifying heat ending in disqualification. This will be the first time that neither the men's nor the women's team will be in the 400m relay final. But all is not lost. It has been learned that Nestle has offered both teams the opportunity to appear on the wrappers of their popular candy bar. In another related announcement, Nestle also announced a new sponsorship deal it just signed with the IOC to replace the existing cylindrical metal batons with actual kingsize versions of the Buterfinger candy bar.


Injured Ball Hopes for Return in USA Volleyball Final

The ball that was injured in the opening round of volleyball is completing rehab and is hoping to return to the court in time for the volleyball finals between the USA and Brazil. The ball was originally injured in opening round play between the USA and Venezuela. It has since undergone flat repair and bladder surgery. Officials believe the ball will be fit for play for the final game on Sunday.




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